The Complete Guide to Finding a Thai Wife
Are women from Thailand the best wives for Western men? This is another one of the questions we get all the time and like most good questions about love and marriage it is difficult to answer.
So, this article is going to simply provide information about dating and marrying a Thai mail order bride.
It will offer some comparisons to the women of other countries across Southeast Asia. You can decide for yourself which country is the best place for you to purse your romantic goals.
Vietnam, Philippines, Cambodia, and China all have their fans. Several of these nations are among the best places in the world to seek a mail order bride and there is something special about each of these countries.
In the Philippines nearly, all of the women speak English and that makes it much easier to communicate with them. Vietnamese women are beautiful and as well-educated as women anywhere in the world.
Cambodia is one of the cheapest places in the world to visit and China is a huge country with literally millions of single women. So, you can make a good arguments for each of these countries, but there is something special about Single Thai girls.
Thailand is a romantic land. That is part of why it is one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world, but there are incredible attractions spread the length and breath of the country. It has some of the most beautiful beaches in the world and the tropical mountains around in the northern part of the country are amazing. Bangkok is one of the worlds great cities and an absolutely epic party city for a single man.
But what really makes Thailand exceptional are the women. Thai women have a look that is unique and simply stunning. They are exceptionally sexy, but there is more to them than just their looks.
Thai girls are confident, but humble in a manner that is hard to explain but easy to recognize. This uniquely Thai attitude comes from Thailand’s unique culture and history.
Thailand is hemmed in between Burma, Malaysia, and Cambodia, and it has been heavily influenced, like all countries in Southeast Asia, by China. So, Thai society has been influenced by all of these societies, but Thai girls do not look like any of the other women in the region.
They are a mix of Chinese women and Indian women with traces of Philippines and Malay tossed into their lovely DNA. All of this makes Thai girls unique and incredibly sexy with looks that cameras love.
Oddly, at least according to one disapproving feminists the stunning allure of Thai women is partly the result of government efforts to promote a certain sort of beauty. According to this theory the government used laws, the press, and the promotion of beauty pageants to reinforce, “The attributes of gentleness, silence, and virtue are intertwined with the attributes of grace, composure, and beauty to produce a model of Thai femininity that crosses regions and classes.”
If this is true, then there is a government program that really worked, because Thai women are incredible. They are famous for their grace, composure, and beauty.
It also says something about just how beautiful these women are for a feminist scholar to openly discuss it in her work. She cannot deny that beautiful Thai mail order brides are models of femininity.
Thai Dating Challenges
Dating Thai girls presents some unique challenges you may not encounter while dating other Asian women. Thai culture is very different from American or European culture. Thailand was one of the few countries that was never colonized by a Western power, so it lacks the layer of European cultural influence that many other parts of the world have.
Luckily, most Thai brides tend to come from the wealthier cities rather than the poor countryside, so they tend to be more familiar with Western culture through fashion, foreign tourists, and the mass media.
If you begin your search for a Thai girlfriend or wife online, you should be aware that it may be a bit more complicated than if you had set your sites on some other parts of Asia.
Some Thai girls from respectable families are a little more hesitant about meeting men through online agencies, because they want to be sure that guys know that they are not prostitutes. This is a big deal.
During the Vietnam War tens of thousands of American servicemen dated Thai women. Sometimes the women were live-in girlfriends. Occasionally the couples even married and had kids. The golfer Tiger Woods is the most famous offspring of these Vietnam era unions.
Regardless of the actual status of the relationship Thai society viewed all of the women as prostitutes. This was a difficult situation, but gradually the situation as changed. One academic explained that gradually Thai society realized, “…that foreign husbands can improve the quality of life, financial status and social status of Thai women and their relatives.”
Dating In The Capital of Sex Tourism
Thailand is well known as a sexual playground. A place where foreign men can go and meet a much younger and more attractive woman than they might have been able to meet at home. This can be both a real positive and incredible negative if you are seriously pursuing a Thai woman for marriage.
First, the positives. Today Western men are considered desirable by the local females. A foreigner is generally seen as more prestigious and probably wealthier, but there is a lot more to it than that.
Thai girls have been influenced by years of Western movies and television and they know that Western men are generally less patriarchal, and they have a reputation for kindness.
It is the same basic story in all the countries where a lot of women sign up as mail order brides, but these positive vibes about Western men might even be stronger in Thailand than anywhere.
Because Thailand was never a part of any of the European or American colonial empires there was never that patriotic drive to hate foreigners. On some deep, subconscious level that is really helpful for foreign men who are looking for love in Thailand.
Really, it is hard to understand just how in demand Western men are across Southeast Asia. The easiest way to get a feel for the situation today is to pick up the comic novel Sarong Party Girls which is about a group of upper middle class girls in Singapore pursuing foreign men for marriage; the same dynamic are at work in Thailand, perhaps even more so.
The negatives about Thailand’s reputation as a world-famous center of prostitution and free love is that some good girls and their families will still be suspicious that you are just another foreign playboy. You will have to make it clear why you are really interested in their daughter or sister.
And you should be upfront to the girls you meet about your initial goals. What are you really there for? If you are just looking for fun – tell them. Girls that you meet in bars and other places where foreigners pick up local ladies will be very understanding.
But if you are truly looking for an elegant Thai wife, a true jewel of the orient, be clear about that from the beginning.
Tips For Dating Single Thai Girls
Thailand has many ancient and colorful cultural traditions and its own set of spoken and unspoken rules about acceptable and unacceptable behavior during courtship. Learning a little something about Thai dating rituals is the best way to avoid these cultural pitfalls while courting a Thai woman.
Here are some to get you started:
Dress to Impress
Thai women tend to put a large emphasis on appearance. Many men have the misconception that it doesn’t matter how you dress because they will have seen sixty year olds walking down the street with a hot twenty year old their arm and he is dressed in sandals, a t-shirt and cargo shorts.
However, the girl is almost certainly a professional, and of course if you are willing to pay for company then how you dress is going to be irrelevant. But if you are looking to meet a nice girl for dating or marriage then you need to work on attracting here.
Take a leaf of the local’s book and dress up. Dressing well is a major determinant of how well Thai women will regard you. If you are well dressed even if you are not a young guy anymore or out of shape, you can still be regarded as desirable solely on the basis of your clothes.
This is quite different to a western country where a young, muscular guy might be considered the most desirable in the room even if he was only wearing a t-shirt and jeans. This offers a significant advantage to the older western male visiting Thailand who is willing to put a little extra effort into his appearance.
You will do far better with the local women if you act the part of the wealthy and sophisticated western man.
Avoid Public Displays of Affection and Arguments
Unlike Western culture, Thai society generally disapproves of public displays of affection. Kissing, hugging, holding hands, or even touching a Thai woman’s hair in public is frowned upon.
Therefore, play it safe and limit yourself to only the most simple and acceptable forms of social touching such as handshakes. Be sure not to sit too close to your Thai girlfriend, at least during the first few dates.
Younger modern Thai women may not mind holding the hand of their boyfriend or husband but will still not want to kiss in public.
Again if you have seen contrary examples to this then chances are that the girl was a bar girl or a similar professional. If you are out on a date with a nice girl do not put her in awkward position by trying to be too affectionate in public.
Along these same lines, Thai women absolutely detest any sort of argument in a public place. I can’t stress how sensitive this issue is, take it from me, my Thai girlfriend broke up with me after a minor public argument that would not have even raised an eyebrow if it happened in a Starbucks in the USA or Canada.
So, if you have a problem with something your Thai girlfriend did, PLEASE – wait until you get home to bring it up.
Thai Girls and Premarital Sex
Girls from Thailand generally don’t believe in sex before marriage. Don’t ask for premarital sex, and especially don’t demand it. This can be frustrating, especially since Thai dating traditionally involves a nine month courtship before marriage and sex.
Ironically, it is this very prohibition against physical affection before marriage that has earned Thai ladies the reputation for being exotic, sensual, and erotic. Thai women tend to be both romantic and passionate but when attraction and affection can’t be expressed physically; it forces them to find other, more creative ways of expressing it.
Consequently, many Thai babes are masters of the art of teasing and flirting.
The physical and sexual aspects of Thailand dating are further complicated by the fact that for decades, Thailand has been a hotspot for sex tourism. Bangkok is unofficially known as the “Sex Tourism Capitol of the World”.
Consequently, if you are overly physically affectionate to a Thai girl, touch her inappropriately, or expect sex after the date, she will likely think that you are a sex tourist who has mistaken her for a prostitute. This is both insulting and disrespectful, and pretty much guaranteed to make a Thai woman lose all interest in you.
So, no matter how sexual frustrating Thailand dating may be in the early stages, stick to your guns, respect your Thai girlfriend’s wishes, and you’ll most likely find that the wait was well worth it!
When it comes to dating a Thai woman a lot of comes down to just good common sense. Take your time getting to know her and make sure that she is the right one for you. Do not be swayed just by her looks.
If you are going to marry her then one day those looks are going to fade. If she is not good company and a suitable intellectual match then eventually you are going to grow weary of the relationship.
Don’t be in a hurry to commit, in Thailand there are always plenty more fish in the sea.
Don’t Be Afraid to Be a Gentleman
Like many Asian cultures, courtesy and good manners are valued highly. Being discourteous, crass, or rude is not just considered impolite, but disrespectful-and that’s a turn-off for any woman, regardless of nationality. On your first few dates, do your best not be to a boorish Western tourist.
Treat all your prospective Thai dates like ladies. Be polite and attentive in conversation. Don’t interrupt when they’re speaking. A thoughtful gift, even a small one, is sure to impress. Open doors for them, offer them your arm, or offer to carry their handbag.
Although Western women sometimes find such gestures to be insulting, condescending, or chauvinistic, in Thai society they are still considered polite and respectful.
Don’t Rush It
Another trap that many western men fall for is to rush the relationship. Some Thai women are eager for the financial security that having a western husband will bring and will try and move the relationship quickly forward.
Do not allow your Thai girlfriend to move in with you unless you are certain that you want to marry her. And you should not do this unless you have spent considerable time with her and you are sure that she is the one.
If you do allow her to live with you and you find out later that she is not the woman that you thought she was it can be difficult to get her to leave. She may demand some sort of payment in order for her to go.
If you are living in Thailand you should not expect a lot of help from the authorities if you ask her to go and she doesn’t agree. These sorts of scenarios occur most often when men ignore the advice above and have a relationship with a bar girl. But you should still be careful no matter what the scenario before allowing her to live with you.
Meet the Family
If you are considering marrying your Thai girlfriend make sure that you meet her in-laws first. It is well known that when you take a Thai bride you are marrying her family as well.
Thais are very family orientated and will want to spend a considerable amount of time with their loved ones. You want to make sure that you are also comfortable spending time in their company, particularly at Christmas and after the birth of a child.
You should also realize that a dowry or payment of the bride is an expected part of the courting ritual in Thailand. Called the sin sod it is generally somewhere around the girl’s salary for a year at the minimum.
I know you want to know what that really means. Well, varies widely depending on the bride’s background and education. If she is a farm girl that might be $1000, but a family of a Bangkok shop girl is going to want at least $3000 and ten times that if she is a doctor or lawyer.
Yes, that is a little steep, but you have to remember that the sin sod is a public part of the wedding and low balling your future in-laws will only annoy them and humiliate your fiance.
Negotiating hard on the sin sod is a mistake, because getting along with your in-laws is always important, particularly in a family oriented country like Thailand. So, try to meet their expectations and if not be prepared to explain why you are still a great catch.
Treat Your Thai Girlfriend with Respect
The most reliable path to success in Thailand dating is to learn as much about Thai culture as possible. Spend some time researching as much as you can about both traditional AND modern Thai society, traditions, and values.
Here are a couple points to get you started:
- Over 80% of Thai women are Buddhist, and have little desire to convert. Thailand is a constitutional monarchy, so the women are at least familiar with democracy, just not the American style. Even British men might have a difficult time grasping the nature of Thai government.
- During World War II and continuing through the 1960s and 70s, many American servicemen were stationed there, leading to a long tradition of cultural exchange, intermarriage, and mixed families. In fact, Tiger Woods is the most famous child of the thousands of Thai ladies who married American servicemen beginning in the 1960s.
- English is required in the schools, so most educated Thai ladies will speak and understand some English, although they are generally not fluent in it.
- The modern “mail order bride” business has been long established in Thailand, going back to the 1970s. Consequently, there may be less cultural resistance to foreign dating from a Thai woman than from women in some other countries.
Finally, the fact that you are familiar with their culture and heritage will go a long way toward impressing your potential Thai wife.
Do Thai Girls Just Want Me For My Money? – An Honest Assessment
While not every Thai girl that you meet is going to be after you for your money it is worthwhile recognizing that your new attractive qualities are in large part because of your wallet.
In the same way that most western women would be suitably impressed if the man that tries to pick them up turns out to be a millionaire, so too is true of Thailand.
Because of the relative wealth differences a Western man with a pension of $45,000 is actually quite rich, perhaps considerably wealthier than anyone the woman personally knows.
It is not worth feeling too bad about the fact she may only like you for your money, after all most western billionaires don’t feel badly that the young super model that they are sleeping with probably would not be dating them if they were poor.
You should also recognize that money is going to play more of a role the less you fit the standard definition of attractive.
If you are young, fit and handsome money may not be quite the same issue as if you are over fifty, pot bellied and bald. The great thing is though that you will still be able to meet the same quality of women thanks to the equalizer which is money.
This is far different from home where you would be out of luck.
Beware the Infamous Thai Bargirl!
If you are looking for a wife then you need to think carefully about where you meet her. One of the main ways that male visitors to Thailand interact with the local female population is by meeting them in bars.
Bar girls, whose job it is to entertain visitors to their establishment, may be fun to spend time with but they are not ideal as wives.
As they saying goes: You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can’t take the bar out of the girl.
Just as in a western country you wouldn’t expect to hire a prostitute for the night and then marry her. The same is true of Thailand. Because of how flattering it can be to the ego to have a very attractive women half your age flirting with you it can be easy to lose your common sense.
Instead you want to look for genuine women who have a professional job such as a teacher or an office worker. You will still be able to meet very attractive and considerably younger women but you want to stay away from the professionals when it comes to a serious romance.
If you travel to Bangkok, Pattaya or Phuket it may seem like half the Thai female population are employed as bargirls, but remember it is only a small percentage of Thai women who are involved in the sex industry.
There are many more “nice girls” that will make much more suitable long term partners that you can meet, even in these Meccas of the international sex trade.
American Expat currently residing in the Philippines. He became interested in mail order brides after his wife of twenty-four years left him for his youngest daughter’s gym teacher – her female gym teacher.